How Strong Are Your Boundaries?

Find out by taking this brief Boundaries Quiz

Are you exhausted and frustrated at the end of the day by countless interruptions and wasted time and energy?

Boundaries are a respectful way to draw lines of protection around your time and energy. By setting boundaries, you pave the way for communication that is open and professional. Boundaries help prevent conflicts and help bring people together in an effective way.

Instructions:

Following are 10 scenarios with 4 possible response actions. Read each scenario and place a check in the box to the left of the action you would most likely take.

To ensure accuracy and maximum value for you, it is imperative that you be very honest in your answers. Your answers need to reflect what you are most likely to do; NOT what you think is the best response.

Scenarios

Your boss has asked you to do a special project and you already have a full schedule with deadlines to meet.  You:

A. Work overtime to get the project done.
B. Solicit the help of coworkers to get the job done.
C. Tell your boss that you don’t have time to work on the project.
D. Identify low-priority projects and come to agreement with your boss on which deadlines can be moved to allow time to get the project completed.


A coworker complains to you about another employee’s continual lateness. You:
A. Listen and discuss the other employee with your coworker.
B. Tell your coworker that it’s none of her business.
C. Tell your coworker that you understand her concern but you don’t have time to discuss it.
D. Tell your coworker that you understand how the issue would concern her and ask that she understand that you do not discuss other coworkers.

You and you spouse/date are planning to see a movie this weekend. You want to see an adventure movie and your partner wants to see a melodrama. You:
A. Allow your partner to select the movie to avoid an argument.
B. Insist that you see an adventure movie.
C. Suggest that you toss a coin to determine which movie to see.
D. Suggest that you take turns in selecting movies and toss a coin to determine who selects the first movie.

You and your friend are driving together to attend a seminar. You want to be on time, but you know that your friend is habitually late. You:
A. Plan to go together and leave whenever your friend arrives.
B. Plan to go together and if your friend is not on time you leave without him.
C. Tell your friend that you will not drive together unless he promises to be on time.
D. Tell your friend that if he arrives on time you will drive together and if he is late you will meet him there.

A distant cousin is graduating from college. Your mother has told you how important it is to her that all the family are there. There is an important conference the same weekend at which you are scheduled to speak. You want to attend the conference because it is important to your career and it is important that you fulfill your speaking commitment. You:
A. Attend the graduation and miss the conference to avoid an argument and/or to avoid making your mother unhappy.
B. Call your mother the day before the graduation, tell her that you’re sick and can’t attend, then attend the conference.
C. Attend the graduation and leave early so you can attend part of the conference.
D. Tell your mother that you understand that the graduation is important to her and ask that she understand that the conference is important to you and that you will be attending the conference.

You’re in the middle of working on a large project with a tight deadline. A coworker comes to your desk and asks for your help. You:
A. Stop what you’re doing to help your coworker.
B. Tell your coworker that you’re involved in a project and can’t help him.
C. Tell your coworker that you’re involved in a project and suggest that he ask someone else for help.
D. Tell your coworker that you’ll be available to help him tomorrow or the following day and ask which he would prefer. If he needs help immediately, you advise him of the best person to ask for assistance.

A college student comes to your door selling magazines that you don’t want. You:
A. Listen to her entire presentation then tell her that you are not interested.
B. Tell her that you are not interested but get caught into listening each time she adds just one-more-thing.
C. Listen to her introduction then tell her that you are not interested.
D. Tell her that you are not interested and close your door.

Your boss asks for volunteers to work on Saturday. You have plans for Saturday to take some much-needed time for yourself. You:
A. Volunteer to work on Saturday.
B. Wait to see if anyone else volunteers, then volunteer if no one else does.
C. Do not volunteer and worry all weekend about how it will affect your image with your boss.
D. Do not volunteer and spend a guilt-free Saturday with yourself.

You go to see a movie. The two people in front of you are talking. You:

A. Focus on the movie and try to tune-out the talking people.
B. Move your seat.
C. Angrily tell the people in front of you to stop talking.
D. Politely tell the people in front of you to stop talking.


You receive your performance evaluation and believe that it is an unfair assessment of your performance. You:
A. Accept the evaluation.
B. Accept the evaluation and complain to your coworkers and/or start looking for another job.
C. Seek out Human Resources to intercede with you and your boss.
D. Ask your boss the reason for her assessment and clarify any misunderstandings.

Boundaries Quiz Scoring

Give yourself the following points:

  • For each “A.” response, give yourself 1 point.
  • For each “B.” response, give yourself 2 points.
  • For each “C.” response, give yourself 3 points.
  • For each “D.” response, give yourself 4 points.

Add up all your points for your total score.

Find your total score below:

  • 40 points – Congratulations! You have impeccable boundaries.
  • 36 to 39 points – You have strong boundaries that can be pristine with a little fine-tuning.
  • 31 to 35points – You have fair boundaries. Take time to think about what you can do, starting now, to strengthen your boundaries.
  • 1 to 30 points – You have weak boundaries and tend to allow others to control your life. Take time to think about what you can do, starting now, to strengthen your boundaries. You may need support to get started. If so, seek help from a trusted friend, colleague or family member, or hire a coach.

Copyright © 2005, Melinda Condray

410-628-2722 • Info@strategicperceptions.com